Shame is a feeling that informs us that we are bad, inadequate or unworthy. Shame is different from guilt which tells us we have done something bad. Shame says we are bad. Shame has its root in the trauma of our childhood. A deep rooted sense of inadequacy, or being unwanted or feeling unloved. The child believes he or she is the cause of the trauma, it is their fault, they are bad and deserve to be treated the way they are being treated. Shame in effect arises out of the unconditional love of the child for their parents. The parents are so admired, they can do no wrong, therefore the child must be wrong. This transfer of responsibility in essence gives the child a sense of control. If I am bad I can fix it. What ensues are countless vain attempts to please the offending parent or parents. Unfortunately these efforts result with little success and only serve to reinforce the feelings of inadequacy and shame, and the cycle continues.
The ego is born out of these visceral feeling of shame. The ego attempts to create a personality that is more acceptable to the offender and the ego-centric self is born. This false self replaces the authentic self which has been judged as inferior and inadequate, in effect the authentic self is seen as the cause of the abuse, and is repressed into the unconscious, banished forever. This mechanism allows the dysfunctional family to carry on with an outward appearance of normality. The parents maintain their position as the infallible providers for the dependant child. The child has a false sense of security and struggles to gain love, acceptance and approval, avoiding at all costs the feelings of rejection and abandonment.
Making Sense of Suffering
Suffering and God
It is difficult to make sense of our suffering and maintain our belief in the Creator. Why does God allow tragedy, suffering and death? Why does She allow bad things to happen? Why doesn’t She do something about it? Why doesn’t she intervene?
When faced with grief and loss it is so easy to loose faith and become angry with God. Ministers of all faiths will tell us it is part of God’s plan, and who are we to question Him? His plan is too big for us mere mortals to comprehend. We must have faith and believe in His goodness and wisdom.
Making Sense of Suffering
When we are suffering it is normal to loose our faith and belief. This is intuitive and therefore we should listen to our voice of inner wisdom. Perhaps our belief needs to be called into question. Perhaps we believe a lie and our faith in that lie needs to be abandoned. Perhaps our suffering can lead us to the truth, or at least a better understanding of the Creator and Her relationship to Her Created.
We are Spiritual beings, created in Her image. We are Spirit. We are created in love, by love for love. We are created to be in the world and experience the realm of the sensual through our outward oriented senses. We are here to have a physical experience of a material realm. We are to be in the world, but be not of the world. Our Spirit abides temporarily in the temporal material realm. We have a material body governed by the laws of nature. Our bodies are temporary, they are prone to disease, they will fail.
Our Creator created the material universe because that is Her nature. God created us in Her image and gave us free will. She promised never to interfere in our affairs, but to let us use our free will as we choose. She gave us dominion over the Earth, and asked only that we remain faithful to our true nature and be good shepherds of the world. She asked us to abide in Love, she asked us to Love one another, she asked us to care for one another. We are to be faithful to our true nature and remain lovingly unattached.
Imagine life without free will. Imagine a life without creativity, art, music, dance, love, sensuality and innovation. Imagine living the life of an automaton, a life without choice. Few of us would choose such a life and our loving Creator would never impose that life upon Her created. Instead our Creator put in place a system of natural laws to govern the material realm, the law of gravity is an example. If we break the law of gravity the consequences are built in. If I jump off my roof I will probably break my leg. To govern the Spiritual realm of being, She set in place spiritual laws, like the law of love. If I break the law of love I will experience pain, isolation and loss. The consequences of all behavior are built into the behavior. God does not punish. God is Love and in Her is no darkness. God does not judge, does not punish and never intervenes in the material realm. God does not interfere in the affairs of humans on the material plane. Her only concern is Love and the welfare of our Spirit. God is Spirit as are we, our Spirit is her only concern. That we abide in love for love is her only commandment.
Our Creator asked us to remember that we are Her children, not children of man. We are Her created our bodies belong to the material realm, not the realm of Spirit, we were to remain unattached. We are here to learn to love openly, freely, and unconditionally. We are here to learn to love with open hands, without being jealous or possessive. We are here to learn the lesson of Love without attachment, without expectations and desires.
Buddha said that desire is the root of all suffering. Jesus said we want and we have not, and therefore we suffer. It is our desires, our expectations and our attachments that cause our suffering.
Our instincts were right, we are right to question our faith and beliefs during times of suffering, it is this questioning that will lead us to the truth.
God is Love and in Her is no darkness.
God gave us free will.
God created universal natural laws based in truth with built in consequences
She also created universal Spiritual laws based in love with built in consequences.
God has no plan for you in the material realm. She is only concerned with your Spiritual welfare
God will never interfere in the affairs of humans. We are free to excercise our free will as we choose.
The universe is temporary
Our Spirit is eternal, it will never die.
We suffer because we have lost our way. We have become anchored in a material realm, attached, full of worldly desires and expectations. We have forgotten that we are spiritual beings meant to abide in unconditional love and to love unconditionally. If we can challenge our old beliefs and learn to live in the truth our love and faith will be restored, and our suffering will end.
Happiness is not a pursuit
Happiness
Happiness is not a pursuit, it is not a state that can be possessed or secured, by the gyrations of the intellect or will; it is a state of being.
Happiness is not contingent on any outward circumstance for its experience but is a completely self-contained inner experience. Happiness is an experience of deep inner harmony, peace and contentment felt by those who are aware of the futility of seeking it in the material world. Happiness is known to those who have abandoned their worldly desires, attachments and expectations, by those who abide in a state of acceptance and personal powerlessness, ever accepting of the divine will.
Happiness abides in those who have abandoned all forms of violence, those that have become peacemakers and sowers of harmony. Happiness rests within those who have sacrificed the desires of the ego and abandoned the desires for power, property, prestige and pleasure.
Happiness is a state of serenity flowing from acceptance and personal surrender that brings an end to all forms of personal struggle.
Happiness is an “interior castle”, a refuge and resting place for those who having been forgiven much, forgive much and live without regret, recrimination or rancor; who feeling the Love of the Creator are free to love as they are loved, unconditionally.
Happiness can only be found within those with pure hearts, hearts undefiled by the contamination of worldly desires. Happiness is the domain of the compassionate, whose love for the Creator and all that is created fills them with joy, peace, serenity and passion.
Compassion
Compassion
We have heard much about compassion lately. But just what is compassion?
Compassion can be defined as a deep awareness of and empathy for another’s suffering, combined with a heartfelt desire to alleviate the suffering of another.
Sympathy and empathy are easily attainable by most people but compassion is an outflow of the heart, a movement deep within that produces action. Compassion is an outflow of mercy, which is the feeling that motivates compassion.
Compassion is attainable by all those that are willing to undergo the essential process of self-examination. For only those who are in touch with their own brokenness, who recognize the role that Grace, Forgiveness, and Mercy play in their own lives are capable of genuine Compassion. Only those who have experienced the compassion of a compassionate Creator can truly be compassionate. Only the poor in Spirit, the meek, the humble and those that mourn can truly be compassionate and not pity others. Only those who are aware of their dependence on their Creator for all things can be compassionate.
Compassion is a Spirit, a condition of the heart; it is an expression of Sacrificial Love. Compassion cannot contain any element of rancor or disquiet, but is peaceful, accepting, kind, understanding and puts the well being of the other uppermost in the mind. Compassion is not self-seeking, as it takes no regard for itself.
Genuine compassion is not limited by issues of nationality, politics, religion, race or economics, it has no agenda other than the wellness and wholeness of all peoples.
Authentic Compassion is Transcendent and is universal; it sees all of humanity as one without artificial boundaries or limitations on freedom.
True governance flows from the Spirit abiding in Love and not from the laws or institutions of men.